New Year's Resolutions

There's nothing like new years to urge a blog post on my seemingly empty and seemingly forgotten blog...

I've had a lot of time to think and to think and to think this Christmas break.  It might sound pretty sacrilegious, but I have not really been a fan of the Holidays for a long time.  I feel like I get very depressed around this time of year because I start to stew on how hard things are, or how awful things have been.  My flow and my business kind of leave me, and I'm left with nothing but my own thoughts.  As Lefou in Beauty and the Beast said, "A dangerous past-time" that thinking stuff is.  Great, now I have that song stuck in my head.  As I was saying, the break for me is traditionally a hard time where I stick myself in a rut, and end up missing out on the joys of the season.

This time around, I got thinking to how out of control my life has felt, and started in on the self-loathing because I wasn't happy with who I've become post mission.  I've been really upset with myself because I haven't retained many of the skills and attributes that I worked so hard to get.

Luckily, I've had some answered prayers and some things brought to my remembrance.  When I first got home I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting.  I outlined three principles that I learned from my mission as they were taught to me by my companions.  The first lesson I learned was, as my blog title suggests, "Mianatra, mitombo, mivoatra," taught to me by a mini-missionary named Vonjy.  It translates to mean, "Learn, grow, progress."  Vonjy would tell me this whenever I was feeling down or when I was discouraged by my lack of knowledge in the language.  I'm just glad I understood what he was telling me.  This lesson is, for me, one of humility.  Of meekness.  It is not enough to just focus in on strengths or to only focus on weaknesses, but to be aware of weaknesses and work to overcome them.  To remember that I am entirely dependent on the Lord and to rely on His strength and His Atonement to help me become better.

The second lesson I learned came from a dear friend, Elder Jacobson.  I have always been a pretty indecisive person, and tend to focus on the reasons to not do certain things.  When I would start to act like this, Elder Jacobson would look at me and say, "Pourquoi pas?"  In French, this means, "Why not?"  Too often I focus on all the reasons why I shouldn't do things, instead of having the courage to do things.  The courage to begin, or the courage to persevere.  I look at all the reasons why I shouldn't pursue a girl, why I'm not good enough.  God didn't send me here to learn why I'm not doing things or to discover who I'm not.  He sent me here to learn who I am.  What qualities are hidden away in my potential that are just waiting to be uncovered?  What friendships are left unmade because I was too afraid to take a risk?  Pourquoi pas is a lesson in courage and in faith.  I need to have the determination to take risks, to be an object in motion and not an object acted upon.

The last lesson that stood out to me from my mission was taught to me by a companion who had way too much energy and was way too happy.  Elder Slater would often sing to me, "Aza manahy."  The best translation for this is Hakuna Matata, and it really is a wonderful phrase.  Worries only breed more worries.  Sister Lehnardt told me quote that "Worrying about tomorrow only steals from todays solace."  I really like that because it reminds me of the importance to enjoy the journey.  This lesson speaks for itself in my mind, because it emphasizes the importance of diligence and enjoyment in the moment, in the present.  Worrying about the future only brings anxiety, while worrying about the past brings depression.  But focusing on the present brings courage, joy, and more determination.

So, those are my three new year's resolutions.  After all, true doctrine, understood, changes behavior faster than a study of behavior changes behavior-Boyd K. Packer.

1.  Mianatra, Mitombo, Mivoatra
2.  Pourquoi Pas?
3.  Aza Manahy-Don't Worry-Hakuna Matata